Tuesday, April 19, 2011

A follow-up to Sunday

After my rough day on Sunday, Jeff decided to catch up on my last month or two of posts.  I asked him what he thought of my post and he said "I don't really check your blog much because you don't post that often".  True.  But I'm trying to be better at it.  So, he read it later and after showering me with praise for being a literary blog genius (hardly) - he said he was worried about protecting our kids.  He knows that I need an outlet so I don't go crazy with the stress (too late), but he wishes he could be there right next to people who are reading the posts so he can stand up for our kids because they are pretty. freaking. awesome.  For instance, if people think things like, "why don't you try a special diet?", or "maybe you need to discipline her better", or "she seems totally fine to me all the times I've spent a mere 30 minutes around her", he can then puff up his chest and prepare to kick some a** to defend our babies like a crazed duck at Tilles Park.  (I used to be scared to take M there because they were really violent when they had ducklings.)  He doesn't want people to judge her (& JJ) because they are incredible people.  Truly amazing individuals.  And while I might get frustrated with them and some most days I think to myself "we are DEFINITELY done having children", I love them more than anything else in this world.  There is nothing "wrong" with them.  They are both unique and have different strengths and abilities.  M might have a diagnosis on the Autism spectrum, but she is insanely talented in her artwork and super creative and also very loving.  JJ might be a drama queen, but she is the funniest kid, loves her friends, and always surprises us.  I understand Jeff wanting to shake people who think something totally different to that effect.  I love how he loves and protects our girls.  But I hope that those who read my blog will be reading because they get it.  Because if you don't, then you really shouldn't waste your time reading my blog anyways. 

But you should check out this blog

stark. raving. mad. mommy.

I just found her the other day through my friend Katie (thank you!).  Today's post is wonderful.  And the other day when she had a Top Ten of what you shouldn't say to a parent whose child is on the spectrum.  We need more moms (and non-moms!) out there who don't judge.  Isn't there some unwritten code of womanhood that we look out for each other?  Well, there should be.  I have unfortunately been the subject of a woman's ignorance to the code and it just plain sucks. 

Tonight we have a fun dinner with our house group from church and the girls are invited.  I love the people who are hosting.  I love our whole house group, actually.  I am really thankful for them.  I'm thankful for everyone at our church - there are some beautiful women there (and I'm talking about what's on the inside.  That's what counts anyways.), who encourage me and love me regardless of anything.


Ellen said...

I totally get Jeff's perspective and protectiveness of his girls. But I agree with you 100% - if you don't get it, don't read the blog. You are a champion for M and JJ and they are SO lucky to have both you and Jeff as their parents. What I like about you - and your blog (and this is not just because I love you dearly as a friend) - is that you speak from a place of honesty. Mothering honestly sucks about 98% of the time and you don't try to sugar coat it. I heart you.

Greta said...

I totally get what you are saying. I love my children to the point of physical pain. They are pieces of my very soul exposed to the ravages of this broken world and yet they drive me to the point of utter exhaustion and frustration and I want to throttle them. Then I feel crazy so I blog. I will physically fight anyone who says you and Jeff are not spectacular parents doing their absolute best to love those precious kiddos. We all have stuff. I think with sweet M it's just a little bit more exposed and thus open to judgement. Just know that all of those silly comments come out of misunderstanding and ignorance not malice and Gods protection and love blankets all of you. Keep on blogging the hard stuff, the good stuff and the in between stuff. Give moms dealing with these same issues a voice. Love Greta

rachel @ perfectly imperfect said...

i love this. not because i love that people make stupid comments, but because you're so honest & you & jeff love each other & your girls so well!
on another note, i hope you know that when i tell you how great M has been when we've spent time together, it's because i want you to know that we had a good day. i know you're dealing with big stuff & it's super hard, and i'm not trying to downplay that! she is just fun to be with & i'm thankful that i've gotten to hang with her some! thanks for sharing your family with me. : )

Sara D. said...

Amy--People will and do judge, whether or not you put yourself (or your kids) out there on a blog. Whether or not you have a child with an autisum diagnosis, or not. It's just a tough, tough world and you should NEVER be fearful of putting yourself out there, based on what those peeps will say. That gives them a TON of power. Listen, one day your girls will read this. And they will see your struggle and understand how deeply you love them. And not because they were perfect. Acting and looking perfect and never admitting flaws is a recipe for disaster. Be so proud of who you are, who your girls are, where you struggle, and mostly, that you are brave enough to put it out there--that is the best life lesson that could ever be taught!!! Say it with me...I AM BLOGGER, HEAR ME ROAR (or something equally awkward and horrifying)!!

Tiffany Nevil said...

Well said Amy! We are all along for a journey and God gives each of us different struggles. But if we'll take the time to engage one another and learn from others, then I think we'll have a better outlook on the daily stuff in life. Your blog helps me to be a considerate and thoughtful Momma. And for that, I thank you!